


How Long? ('til we sink to the bottom of the sea)

by Alicees



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Coping with Unexpected Feelings, Depression, Edgeplay, I guess???, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Masturbation, Mythology References, Really Lame Mythology References, Recreational Drug Use, Sex Work, Slow Burn, Tags will be updated, Teens with feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:34:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24152143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alicees/pseuds/Alicees
Summary: Percy was sitting on his bed, legs crossed under his computer. His comforter felt soft under his thighs, back pressed against his soft pillow. The blue, heavy curtains pulled over the only window in the room, just a thin sliver of sunlight allowed to come in and hit the surface of the mirror hanging over the desk on the other side of the room. Everything was perfect and so, so chill he could have fallen asleep already, hadn’t he had something definitely better in mind.
Relationships: Annabeth Chase & Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Jason Grace & Percy Jackson, Jason Grace & Piper McLean, Jason Grace/Percy Jackson, Jason Grace/Piper McLean, Nico di Angelo & Jason Grace, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Comments: 72
Kudos: 113





	1. Thunder & Lightning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got It - Marian Hill  
> "I got this thing  
> Gonna blow your mind  
> Pulling your string  
> Helping you unwind"

Percy was sitting on his bed, legs crossed under his computer. His comforter felt soft under his thighs, back pressed against his soft pillow. The blue, heavy curtains pulled over the only window in the room, just a thin sliver of sunlight allowed to come in and hit the surface of the mirror hanging over the desk on the other side of the room. Everything was perfect and so, so chill he could have fallen asleep already, hadn’t he had something definitely better in mind.

His afternoon classes had been cancelled due to who knows what teacher meeting, the news being announced through the speaker, coming as a blessing from some god. He had felt restless and nervous all week, loaded with a kind of energy that his training for the school’s swim team couldn’t get rid of. He needed some time for himself and this was the perfect chance; when his friends had asked him to hang out he said he had a big headache and needed to get home asap, breaking out in his best performance of a _poor boy suffering of the worst headache ever,_ of course they didn’t buy it. But no one tried to stop him, not even Annabeth, who just gave him the biggest eye roll ever and kissed him goodbye with a soft peck to his lips. She mocked him: “See you later, seaweed brain” and he waved at the others, running to the bus stop.

And so there he was, ready, his stomach tingling with anticipation, as he tapped the letters on the keyboard. As the browser started showing the results, he skipped through the scammy or probably - no - surely virus ridden sites, until he found what he was looking for: a cam site. Regarding his porn fruition he liked to watch stuff that felt as genuine as possible and what is more genuine than someone showing themself doing nasty stuff in their own house? To him it felt the least exploitative porn he could get so he went with it, and usually if he could he would chip in some money for the cammer, he didn’t have much but he appreciated the labor and wanted to do his part. He opened the page, logged in and started browsing through the results, looking for some known or new face… maybe that cute girl with the kitten choker he had seen last week online or maybe he was going to be lucky and find someone new.

The little windows showed a kaleidoscope of people, varying in gender, skin color, size, and themes; Percy liked to have such a wide range of possibilities to choose from. Many weren’t online though, probably because it was early in the afternoon of a workday. One of the few online cams caught his eye: a _lovely_ bubble butt - clad in frilly, pink thongs - seemed to be there waiting just for him, moving from left to right in a tantalizing way. The preview showed just a little part of the video, and he could see how the lower back was just as attractive as the aforementioned butt, milky white and deliciously curved; how the girl’s thighs were pretty thick and well-toned, matching the complexion of the back. But that was it, he couldn’t see anything else.

“I guess it’s gonna be you then” he muttered to himself, licking his lower lip. He clicked on the name under the little window: _LightningBug._ The tingling and warm sensation he had felt in his stomach now starting to travel to his dick, giving it a nice half-hardness. The page took a few seconds to load and he took the chance to plug in his earphones and wear them. As the window finally loaded the girl was still showing her back, kneeling on what seemed a soft carpet, woven in beautiful blue threads… something about that carpet made him feel uneasy, like the feeling he got after a dejà-vu, he couldn’t let his ADHD brain focus on that little detail and miss the show that was that glorious ass, though. And now that he could see it better he noticed that it was pretty muscular for a girl, but it wasn’t his place to judge other people’s appearance - he could still hear Piper’s harsh reprimands when Leo had dared to say something judgy about one of their classmates- he didn’t want to be on the receiving hand of her anger, _ever_. He blinked fast, putting the memory away and let his gaze travel up the girl’s back, stopping to eye the gorgeous dimples on her lower back. She had a nice small waist and her shoulders looked really muscular, maybe she was some kind of athlete. His gaze couldn’t travel much higher though, her head wasn’t in the frame, the only thing he could make out was a long neck and the hint of blond hair.

The girl wasn’t speaking at the moment, just swaying her hips to the rhythm of a song played in the background, Percy noticed it just because the week before Jason had made him listen to it at least 3 times in a row, on the way back home, so he remembered it pretty well. As the rhythm of the song started picking up the girl stood up, still moving her hips in an hypnotizing way, she turned around and Percy couldn’t help but choke on his spit and cough loudly. The thongs she was wearing couldn’t do much to hide a bulging, really obvious erection. Okay, maybe he wasn’t expecting such a turn but honestly the body moving in front of his eyes was so gorgeous that he didn’t really care about its gender. He figured he should’ve read the person’s little bio first; he blamed his teenaged horniness for making him dumber than he usually was.

Percy was curious now, though, so he went and actually checked the bio:

“Hi! *w* You can call me L! Or however you want ;3 Glad to see that you were interested in me enough to open this! I am into S/D and I _loooove_ to satisfy every request of my masters! Feel free to chat with me and if you’ll like my little show please consider making a donation! I hope you’ll have fun!!”

“Okay, well, this sounds interesting” he said, going back to the livestream. He adjusted himself, sinking deeper in the pillow behind his back, and started palming at his erection, now fully hard “Let the show begin”, an excited grin forming on his lips.

He opened the chat and the comments of the rest of the audience started to flow “Wow, horny much guys?” he thought, chuckling, as his cheeks started to warm up, all the dirty talking turning him on too.

L. seemed really caught in his show, moving around and showing himself, following the rhythm of the music that kept going, it was a really sexy playlist Percy noticed, he had to find a way to get a link to it.

His face was still out of frame but the show of his toned abdomen and pecs moving, abs tight and defined, was enough to make anyone drool.

The music started to fade, and L. wrote in the chat:

**_LightningBug: Hi lovely people! Please feel free to suggest what you’d like to see me do today! <3_ **

The comments started flowing fast:

_\-------: Show us how good you are at giving head!_

_\------: Little slut I want you to fuck yourself on that blue dildo like last week!_

_\------: NO! I order you to edge yourself until I say you can cum!_

The last comment was followed by a long strand of agreeing comments and L. made a pleased noise, he tapped:

**_LightningBug: Okay okay, I see you found an agreement, you are such big meanies tho! You’ll make me cry again?!_ **

Percy made a chocked sound at L’s message, muttering a breathy “fuck” through gritted teeth. He wasn’t expecting to get so turned on by the mere thought of having a guy masturbate in front of him and by the power trip of having the ability to deny him orgasm, even less. The only sex experience he had was with Annabeth and she wasn’t a person who could be dominated, in life or in the sheets. The thought of Annabeth made Percy feel guilty for a second, which had never happened before. They had an healthy sex life and he loved her very much, the porn was just a way to blow off steam, it wasn’t a substitute for her. It was fun and light, it made no sense to feel guilty about it. “Stop feeling guilty and get back to business” he thought then, noticing that the hand on his hardness had stopped its stroking movements.

The boy typed again:

**_LightningBug: Should I keep my panties on or take them off?_ **

This time Percy was faster than the others and replied:

**_BlueRiptide69: Keep them on._ **

He breathed in relief when his comment found the others agreement as L. chuckled, maneuvering his dick in the thongs, now stretched to the side. Leaning back, still with his head out of frame he started moving his hand slowly, getting himself back to full hardness. Percy mirrored him, one hand moving and the other ready to reply in the chat, his eyes unable to stop staring at the boy on the screen. He was harder than he had ever been and when L’s hand started to go faster someone told him to slow down and stop. The breath that left his lips made Percy question his own strength, he was already on the verge of cumming. He slowed down the pace of his hand, not wanting to waste the chance to see the boy coming undone.

The audience kept him on the edge for more than 45 minutes, his chest flush red, his breath coming in short, ragged, and trembling. His abs tense and twitching. His dick leaking copiously, glistening with precum. After five more minutes Percy couldn’t handle anymore and tears started falling on L’s chest, it was so hot. He wrote in the chat:

**_BlueRiptide69: Come for me baby, c’mon_ **

And L's breath hitched as he spilled all over himself, arching his back. Percy followed him shut, cursing under his breath, and fighting against the urge to close his eyes to not miss a second of the other boy’s pleasure.

He cleaned himself with a towel that appeared seemingly out of nowhere and wrote:

**_LightningBug: Thank you Blue, I owe you one ;3_ **

Percy breathed hard, smiling, and tapped:

**_BlueRiptide69: Oh, you sure do_ **

The audience started leaving the chat, praising L. and making big donations; someone was bitter at the little exchange Percy had with him, accusing L. of making favoritism, but he didn’t pay attention to them so Percy decided not to start beef, he wasn’t hot headed enough to start fighting with strangers over the favor of a cam boy, maybe.

He donated five dollars, all he had in his card at the moment, and moved to close the page but kept staring at L. and, for a second, he caught a glimpse of his face. He blinked at the screen that went dark on the other side, forgetting to breathe.

“Fuck”

“FUCK”

“FUUUCK”

He started panicking, closed the computer without shutting it off and threw it away, towards the foot of his bed. He stood up, head spinning, breathing fast. He felt like when he was six and his friends challenged him to climb the old olive tree in the yard behind the school, it had huge horizontal branches, and as Percy was making his way to the highest one, a distant thunder scared him and he lost his grip, falling on his back. His mother scolded him, and everyone made fun of him, Annabeth had climbed it so easily, she had made it look like the easiest challenge in the world, reaching the higher branches fast like a squirrel. He was the only one who got scared by the thunder. 

Now he felt like that, his breath knocked out of his lungs, the image he had seen on the computer screen flashing over and over again in his mind. Those blue eyes, light as the sky he saw from the ground that day, still unreached by the storm.

Fuck, those eyes belonged to the first person that had jumped off the tree to check on him, with his scarred lips turned in an half smile, lending a hand to help him to his feet.

Fuck. He couldn’t believe it. He had just had the best orgasm of his life while watching his best friend masturbate. On cam. And he had payed him, too.

He pushed his hands over his eyes until he started to see little stars and random lights, pacing anxiously through his room, knocking stuff over but paying it no mind.

He finally sat at his desk, hands falling as dead on his lap, staring at the mirror in front of him, gaze unfocused and usually sun kissed skin pale and emaciated.

He whispered, gut wrenching and turning:

_“Jason.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! You read till the end! Thank you! ❤  
> This is my first fanfiction ever, it's gonna be long and dirty so if you liked this first little chapter please come back for the next! I'd love to read your opinions and comments!  
> Oh, I know nothing about how cam sites work so don't take any of this as realistic!


	2. Confused

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bros being bros, _amirite_?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moonlight Popolare - Mahmood  
> My God, my God, my God  
> E più la guardi più vien da pregare  
> My God, my God, my God  
> La luna da una casa popolare

The phone buzzed on the sink while he was brushing hard his teeth, he had slept so bad, weird nightmares waking him up every hour. He definitely had to stop reading Shakespeare’s plays before going to sleep. He took a mental note to put the “Julius Caesar” tattered copy in his backpack. 

**Bro:**

_takin the bus to school_

**Bro:**

_see u ltr_

He eyed the messages with a cocked eyebrow, toothbrush held between his teeth. Breath came hard from his nose and an unintelligible noise came out of his mouth.

He tapped fast on the screen:

_Everything alright?_

The reply came impossibly fast:

**Bro:**

_yea_

He spat the toothpaste, rinsed his face, and dried his hands with a towel. He put on his glasses and stared at the reflection in the mirror.

It wasn’t unusual for Percy to decline his daily free car ride to take the bus. They had talked about it once. It was sometime last summer, a few days after Jason’s birthday. Thalia had hooked him some really good weed as a birthday gift and they saved some to smoke on Percy’s apartment emergency stairs.

It was kind of a tradition they had, celebrating their birthdays together (even if they were born almost two months apart) by getting high and just talking. They talked about what scared them, made them angry or insecure, and went on all night long, without judging each other. When the morning came maybe one of them had cried, or maybe both, but neither would have made fun of the other. It was somewhat cathartic, and they never talked about whatever had been said.

That night the lights of the city were glistening, the heavy humid hair of summer had been blown away by a fresh wind that smelt deliciously, thanks to the French bakery that had opened a few weeks earlier on the corner of the street where Percy lived.

Jason laid on his back on the tiny balcony floor, he had to bend his knees in front of him to make some space for Percy to lay on the other side, mimicking his pose. They were too big for the floor and had to play Tetris with their bodies to fit, but it was an unspoken rule to spend the night there. It wouldn’t have been the same if it happened somewhere else. Jason had watched Percy light the joint, his gaze unfocused as he took the first breath of smoke. After a few seconds he exhaled and handed it to Jason.

“How are you holding up” Percy asked, with an uncharacteristic serious tone in his voice, the question sounding more like an affirmation. He didn’t need to make the subject explicit, it was obvious. The break-up.

“Actually, I’m kind of okay?” he replied, cocking an eyebrow “you know I love Piper but maybe she’s right, we’ve been together for too long.” he took in another breath of smoke and exhaled.

Percy looked at him, his turn to arch an eyebrow now “Really?” he asked, doubt in his voice.

“Yeah Perce, I’m sad of course, but I’m okay. She’s still my best friend and I can’t lose that.” It wasn’t the first time Jason had said it, trying to convince himself, but now it felt real and true. He didn’t want to lose Piper and he agreed with her decision.

“Well, that hurts my man, I thought _I_ was your best friend” Percy said, faking a broken tone in his voice.

Jason smiled, thanking him silently for the change of subject.

“You wish dude, you’re not even in my top three best friends. Both Nico and Annabeth come before you!” he smirked at Percy, who wore an exaggeratedly shocked expression.

“Annabeth? Are you serious? What about Leo?” he replied, punching his shoulder, and exhaling another puff of smoke.

“Shit you’re right, you come after all of them.” he punched Percy back.

Percy faked an hurt look and pinched at Jason’s side, prompting a lot of squirming and making his glasses fall “Okay- okay truce” Jason giggled “you are my best bro, that’s the most uber level of friendship one can wish to reach”. As he got his breath back he reached over to Percy and rested an hand on his shoulder. For a while they were silent, looking each other in the eyes. It didn’t feel awkward or weird, he felt Percy’s support and it filled him with peace.

“I guess being your best bro will do…” he smiled.

They fell quiet and stayed like that for a while, passing each other the joint until there was nothing left. Jason was starting to drift off, his eyes heavy, when Percy’s words woke him completely, he batted his eyelids a few times to restart his brain.

“Today I saw Gabe” his voice so thin, almost a whisper, Jason thought he was on the verge of tears.

“Fuck” was the only thing that came to his mind, he kicked himself mentally, what a great reply. Then he gulped and asked, “Are you okay?”.

Percy looked up, maybe trying to see the stars, but the sky was too bright with those city lights. The last time they had seen actual stars was at Piper’s in Oklahoma, camping in her grandfather’s fields.

“I have no idea. I hadn’t seen him since…” his voice trailed off, gaze lowering to his knees. He pulled his back up, sitting with his legs crossed under him. He looked like a little kid, Jason thought, just like when they were in middle school and Percy ran off to his house to escape his stepfather’s aggressions. Jason gulped hard, trying to swallow the knot that had started to form in his throat. He hated to see Percy like that.

“I- I know Percy, you don’t have to say anything…” he tried to reply, sitting up closer to his friend, pressing his shoulder against the other’s.

Percy inhaled, filling his lungs with fresh bread smelling air, and pulled up his head.

“Do you remember when we were in middle school?” his voice slightly stronger now. Jason nodded, of course he remembered. “I took every chance I could get to run away, to get as far as possible from that piece of shit” he went on, his voice steadier and stronger with every word, “when I couldn’t come to you guys’ house I’d just take the bus. I have taken every bus in the city, done every route. I still know the bus stops’ names by heart. It was the only thing I could do to not think. Or to think better.” Percy stopped talking, his breath now fast and shallow.

Jason got scared he may be getting a panic attack, so he draped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him in an hug. Chocking back a sob Percy buried his head in Jason’s shoulder chest, but after a few breaths he pulled up, looking at him with his wide green eyes, the redness around them just making the color looking brighter. For a second Jason felt almost lost inside his friend’s blue-green eyes but Percy spoke and distracted him from the vertigo he had just felt.

“Thank you for listening” Percy said, smiling, and resting his head against Jason’s shoulder.

“You’re welcome, dude” he replied softly, pulling him closer. The feeling he had just felt, but couldn’t put a name to, sank in his stomach. He was too sleepy to think about it though so he pulled Percy up and guided him inside, putting him on his bed. He was supposed to sleep on the sofabed in the living room, but he felt too tired, almost drained, to get there. After a long second he shrugged, and joined Percy in his bed, pushing him against the wall to get some space. From the rightful occupant of the bed came just a groan and a laugh. He was fast asleep when Jason pulled up the sheet. And he followed in a matter of seconds.

When Percy ditched his car rides Jason didn’t take it personally, it just meant that he needed time for himself. It wasn’t strange, but knowing the story behind his behavior, whenever it happened Jason’s gut filled with an uneasy sensation.

He didn’t want to stick his nose in Percy’s business anyways, so he let him be, hoping that when they’d meet at school later his bad mood would’ve gone. And if it hadn’t, he thought - taking his backpack and his car keys - he would’ve been the best friend ever, so he decided to stop by the cafè on the way to school and get him a blueberry muffin. Percy always felt better after eating one.

When he got to school, muffin in a little paper bag in his hand, Jason was feeling quite good, despite the bad mood he had been in when he woke up. The sun was shining, it was a Friday, he had bought a muffin for his - probably stressed or something - best bro. His day could only get better, or at least he thought. He spotted Percy standing at his locker, staring inside without moving. He was wearing skinny dark jeans and a blue hoodie, his usual look but there was something in the way he was standing there that made Jason’s smile turn down. He shrugged, tightened his hand around the muffin bag and jogged up to him, putting an arm over his shoulder.

“How you doiiiin’” he whispered in his ear, using the lamest voice he could muster.

The reaction that came wasn’t the one he was expecting, though. Percy emitted an alarmed high-pitched squeal and jumped aside, now facing him. 

“Wow, that was _so_ _manly_ , my dude” Jason taunted with an ironic tone, giving Percy a big smile.

Percy froze and lowered his gaze, not meeting his eyes “You scared me” he replied.

Jason stared at his friend for a second, noticing how his eyes where circled with dark, deep signs. He might have slept even less than me, he thought.

“Woah, man I didn’t mean to- “ he started to apologize but the boy didn’t really give him the time to say anything else, he closed - almost slammed - the locker door and sprinted away past him, hitting against his shoulder. Jason stared at the point where Percy had been until a second before, the little paper bag on the ground, victim of the collision between their shoulders. One more second ticked by - the other students on the corridor looking at him like he was the one that just ran away without a reason – and finally he pulled himself together. He felt like a cold spear had struck between his shoulders and a shiver ran down his back while his stomach started to churn.

Had he done something wrong? Was Percy angry at him?

What had just happened made no sense in his mind.

He bent to pick up the muffin bag and went to his locker, trying to avoid the curious stares that kept coming his way. He dropped off his backpack and took the books for the first period, the anxious feeling of having done something wrong settling deeply in his gut. Had he forgotten their _bro-versary_? No, it was in January and they celebrated with a super zombie movie weekend long marathon, on the Monday Annabeth taunted them, wondering if they had become zombies too. The only reply was a perfectly synchronized groan from the duo that just seemed to confirm her idea. He smiled fondly at the memory, but it just made him feel worse. _What the hell was going on with Percy?_

Jason didn’t have the time to keep raking his mind trying to find an answer though, as his former girlfriend was coming down the corridor, wearing cute skirted denim overalls and classic converse shoes, her hair softly braided on a side with a colorful silk ribbon intertwined. The colors on it in contrast with her coppery complexion, making it glow even under the ugly neon lights that illuminated the hallways.

Piper smiled, waving her hand, and kissed his cheek when she got next to him.

“What’s wrong J?” she took his hand, looking up to catch his gaze “did someone knock you out during football practice?” after a short pause she added “again?” with a smirk.

“Gosh Pipes, will you ever let it die? It happened just three times in the last year! My brain is doing fine… I think” he tried to smile but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He hoped she would let it drop.

Piper arched and eyebrow “Okay, spill it, what’s going on.” She knew him better than anyone else, of course she wouldn’t have left him alone.

He scratched the back of his head, lowering his gaze. “It- It’s nothing, really” he stammered “just, Percy’s been acting weird, avoiding me” Piper’s eyebrow arched even higher.

“Percy” she said pointedly “avoiding you.” she looked at him straight in the eyes.

“Y-Yeah” Jason blushed and averted his gaze.

“Seems unlikely! But let’s find out I guess” she gripped his hand and pulled him towards their classroom.

Jason didn’t feel better though, Piper could be on the “tough love” side when his feelings were involved, and he really didn’t want to fight with Percy. He slowed down and pulled her to a stop.

“Pipes…” he started “it’s nothing really, probably he didn’t want to be bothered and I overstepped, don’t worry about it, okay? Please?” she gave him a suspicious stare and he rushed to say, “I’ll talk to him, just let him be, okay?” and proceeded to hit her with his best puppy eyes.

“Okay!” she exclaimed, raising her hands in defeat, “but if this, whatever he’s doing, goes on I’ll kick his ass! It won’t be the first nor the last time it happens, and you know it!”

He smiled, letting out a breath of relief masked as laugh, and replied “I know, I know Pipes. You’re the strongest here, you can kick all of our asses.” she seemed satisfied at his declaration. She smiled at him defiantly and pulled his hand again, dragging him to class.

Jason’s school day passed by in a slow boring haze, his head clouded by the anxiety left by Percy’s behavior. He hoped that in chemistry class, the only one they shared that day, Percy would’ve been waiting for him at their usual table, but his hopes were shattered as he got to the door and saw him sitting next to a guy he didn’t know at one of the front tables. Jason tried to catch his gaze as he walked by him to get to one of the free spots in the back of the room, but Percy averted his eyes, lowering his head.

He ended up sitting a few tables behind Percy and kept staring at the back of his head. For sure he could feel his gaze on him, but he didn’t even flinch, Jason had never seen him concentrating on a chemistry lecture… actually he had never seen him concentrate in any class. On his side the pages of the notebook, opened in front of him, stayed completely blank.

When the last bell rang Jason jumped on his ass, startled by the loud sound, but he noticed with a satisfied grin that Percy had had his same reaction. He turned his head to the side and sent a fast stare, obviously looking for him. Jason met his eyes purposefully and smiled, but Percy bolted up like he just got electrocuted and left the room at top speed.

Jason groaned a “God damn it” through gritted teeth and started to pick up his stuff too. He got up to leave the room and noticed Piper, waiting outside. He walked up to her, dragging his feet.

“You know, this depressed look doesn’t suit you at all. You look like a 6ft tall baby.” She said, as a greeting.

“Wow, thank you, that’s exactly what I needed to feel better” he replied, fixing his glasses.

“I’ve never seen you this sad” Piper started walking towards the cafeteria but after a few steps she put up an hand and commanded: “HOLD ON!” Jason stopped instantly, looking at her with wide eyes, waiting for her to go on “What?!” he asked.

“You weren’t this sad when I broke up with you, you asshole!”

Jason looked at her, mouth hanging open, eyes wide. “Pipes are you kidding me?”

She stared for a second at his dumb expression and then laughed and kept laughing until she had real tears at the corner of her eyes. “Yeah! I am and oh my god you had the funniest expression I’ve ever seen” Jason punched her shoulder, a smile starting to tug at his lips, “You’re such a bitch”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyaaa~~  
> Sorry for the kinda late update! Uni has been getting in the way lately so I haven't had much time to write but anyways I made it so yay for me! Thank u for reading this second chapter! Sorry for the lack of porn but the story will get saucier in the next chapter, I promise (the next update will be out in about two weeks)! If you liked this kudos and comments are deeply appreciated! And if you'd like to come and scream with me about the adaptation or the books please, come visit me on [tumblr](https://sadchtulhu.tumblr.com/) or on Twitter @Alicesss_  
> P.S. I forgot to tell y'all that English isn't my first language so if you find something weird please tell me and I'll try to correct any mistake!  
> Thank u so so so much for reading!


	3. Clueless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please someone help this boy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fool For You - Good Luck Finding Iris  
> So slick bullshit  
> I'm a fool for you  
> I'm not out for blood  
> You know there's still love

Jason went back home right after school, driving in an uncharacteristically distracted way but he couldn’t keep his mind from retracing backwards the day that had just passed. He hadn’t seen Percy anymore, apparently he’d decided to skip P.E., maybe he had charmed the infirmary nurse, convincing her he felt sick or something… but he had looked so bad when Jason had last seen him that probably there had been no need to charm her at all.

Jason too was starting to feel sick, he sighed in relief finally parking the car in the driveway, noticing that Thalia’s bike was missing, and that earned him another deep sigh. The last thing he needed in that moment was his sister’s worried questioning. She could become quite suffocating when she noticed he was in a bad mood: Jason knew her worry came from the right place and most of the times she actually made him feel better but this, this wasn’t one of those times, he could feel it. Closing the car behind him he trudged inside, backpack heavier on his shoulder than when he had left in the morning. After fumbling with the keys at the door he entered the house. He went straight to his room, not bothering to switch the lights on, after shoving the backpack on the chair at the desktop he flung himself on his bed. He landed face down and inhaled the smell of fresh sheets. They smelled of jasmine and lavender, Thalia used the same conditioner their mother used. He closed his eyes against the smell and his thoughts went back to Percy and the last time he had felt so lost and hopeless.

* * *

It was a few months after Piper and him had broken up, the week after Jason and Percy had spent the night together, celebrating their birthdays.

Piper had invited him to sleep at her’s, and they were drinking beer on the roof of the old abandoned shed right behind her house. It was a place filled with nice memories, it was where they had shared their first kiss, but it didn’t feel heavy to be there. It was nice as it had always been, hanging out there felt natural like their friendship had after the breakup.

Jason was laying on his back, a cold one in his hand, gaze pointed to the stars. Piper’s house was on the outskirts of the city, where the countryside started, and the sky wasn’t as polluted as at his house. Jason couldn’t really get enough of that view, he knew that in some remoted, distant and isolated places in the world the night sky was indescribable, but in that moment even the blue, slightly reddened, open field above them felt almost mesmerizing.

Piper had been talking for a while, but he wasn’t paying attention, lost in the few constellations he could spot over them.

“Earth to Jason – Earth to Jason” she said, flicking him with a finger between his eyes.

“… wha-” he jumped, startled, “oh shit Pipes sorry I zoned out” he said, smiling apologetically. “Whoa, don’t you say? Were you like, communicating with aliens or something? You looked like you were in some kind of trance… Are they coming to abduct you? God that would be so cool to see…” Piper started rambling, she used to do that every time she was drinking, it was funny but following her chain of thoughts was almost impossible.

Jason decided to stop her: “Pipes, you’re rambling again…” he said, smiling softly.

“Oops, sorry Jaz” she smiled back and added, raising an eyebrow, “I was actually trying to tell you something, before noticing you were basically on Jupiter”.

Jason looked at her, signaling to go on, and took a big gulp of beer.

“Okay, so” she started, and it was almost too dark, but Jason noticed her cheeks reddening as she raised her can to her face, drinking some of the still cold beer “so, I was saying, remember when we were together?” 

Jason made a scrunched face, and replied in an irritated tone “Yeah Pipes, of course I do, I was there with you, quit stalling”.

“Okay, okay, man, give a woman some time to think… this beer is strong” at which she went and drank more “we used to have sex, right?” she blurted out, after swallowing her beer.

“Well, yeah we did” now it was Jason’s turn to blush, “what about it?”.

“So, I kind of may have noticed something…”

“Something about…?”

“Something about you, Jaz…”

“Just tell me already!”

“Okay, well… do you remember that time when we were doing… stuff… at Leo’s party last year?”

“The fist fight one or the one that got us busted by the police?”

“I think it was the fist fight… well, if you remember what happened, and I remember clearly… ehm… I think you may be into exhibitionism my dude” Piper patted his shoulder, looking at him with an expression between wistful and amused that said that she wasn’t finished. 

Jason stared at her, mouth hanging open, for almost 30 seconds before regaining control over his expression.

He tried to recall what exactly had happened that night, but the memories were quite blurred, yes, they had made out – okay, he could remember that the making out had escalated quickly – but aside from that everything was lost in the fog of too many tequila shots.

“What- what makes you think that?” he finally said, a deep red blush covering him form neck to the point of his ears.

“Man, are you for real? You don’t remember?” Piper said, trying to keep a straight face, but unable to keep the laughter from her voice.

Jason went quiet and finished his beer.

What the hell happened? Why did Piper find it so funny? What the hell was she hiding from him?

Was he actually an exhibitionist? He frowned and lowered his empty beer, taking another one.

“Spill it, bitch” he looked at her right in the eyes, burning holes in hers.

“Are you serious? This is gonna be so embarrassing, and I’m not even close to being drunk enough to actually tell you…”

“I said spill it”

“Okay I guess” she took another swig of her beer and started talking.

_They walked on wobbly legs, kissing each other on every bit of exposed skin they could find. Jason had just won a shot off against poor Grover, who now was laying on the couch, completely knocked out. Piper wasn’t actually drunk but Jason’s high kept her from thinking too much, it was fun to see him like that, all giggles and blush._

_They made their way to one of the bathrooms at the second floor, tripping over their own feet._

_Once they made sure the bathroom was clear they started making out, pushing and pulling each other over every surface. They ended up in the shower, after a few more moments of making out they had to break the kiss to take in some much needed air, they stared at each other for a few seconds, and Piper noticed a light in her boyfriend’s eyes, a glint of mischief, an implicit request. She gave him a smug smile and knelt in front of him, keeping his eyes locked with hers._

_“Fuck Pipes” Jason whispered, licking his lips, cheeks flushed from the mix alcohol and arousal._

_She didn’t reply, too busy pulling off his jeans and getting to work on his half-hard cock._

_For a while everything was fine, Piper was taking her time sucking Jason off and he was enjoying every moment of it, lost in between giving and receiving pleasure they had completely forgotten about the party downstairs._

_Voices on the corridor, just outside the bathroom door and barely audible over the booming music that shook the walls, made Jason jump and Piper stop on her tracks, his penis still between her lips. In a swift movement Jason pulled the shower curtain, giving them some kind of hiding spot. The voices were stronger now, and they could clearly make out who was talking behind the door:_

_“C’mon Perce let’s just go home, if you really wanna talk to him send him a message, I’m pretty sure he and Piper have left almost half an hour ago” Annabeth’s voice said, in a slightly annoyed tone._

_“But- but- I can’t go without saying bye- saying bye to my bro” Percy replied, hiccupping, in a whiny voice. “Maybe he’s here… I’ll- I’ll check out”. Annabeth’s eyeroll in reply was almost audible._

_The couple in the shower stared at each other with wide eyes as the door handle rattled, Piper had begun stroking Jason’s length and felt it jolt in her hand when the door flung open. She sent her gaze up, but Jason’s eyes were closed, and he was wearing an expression she had never seen, he looked like he was hanging, tied to a single rope that was breaking fast._

_She mouthed a silent “shit” and started pumping him hard, as the voices from outside the shower box came stronger and, on Annabeth’s side, alarmed “You see babe, they are clearly not here” she said and coughed “let’s fucking go”._

_Jason hand flew to his mouth, he bit it to catch a moan._

_“But babe I-” Percy started, interrupted by the door shutting._

_“FUCK” Jason came without a warning, making a mess of Piper’s dress, then he leaned down and pulled her to his chest, kissing her strong._

_“Well that sure was something”, she muttered, but Jason wasn’t listening, gaze unfocused as he rested his head on her shoulder._

“Do you remember now, you asshole?” she said as she finished retelling the event.

Jason had stared at her for what felt like hours, mouth slightly open and deep blush all over his face.

“Wow”.

After that he went full mute mode. Piper had to drag him to bed that night and the morning after he picked up his stuff and kissed her cheek, leaving without a word.

Jason’s mind was spinning out of control. The following days he had replayed the conversation in his mind over and over, questioning himself.

What if he _was_ an exhibitionist? He recalled every time they had sex, from the very first time, awkward and honestly a disappointment, to the very last one looking for an hint, did he know himself less than he thought? Thinking about it made his chest hurt.

And was Piper implying not only that he was into _that_ but was also into Percy? She hadn’t exactly said it aloud, but he had felt the accusation lingering in the way she looked at him.

He desperately needed to talk with her, but after the conversation on the shed she had left to visit her grandfather and, immune to Jason’s pitiful pleading, she wasn’t answering his texts or calls.

He figured he had it coming, being a complete asshole, leaving without saying anything, but he had felt so lost, desperate, and utterly questioned, that he had forgotten how to behave like an actual human being.

Now, without Piper’s help and her ability to calm him down with her words he was sitting on the blue carpet on the floor of his room feeling as lost as ever, legs crossed and laptop on his lap, he was in desperate need to talk to someone. Where does a millennial go in search for help or answers? Of course, the internet. He started browsing, first he caught some Vice article about bisexuality and kinks, then he started to search for porn. He thought that to test whether he was actually into those things he could watch some porn, and if he liked it, well then there was no escape.

He looked for the least menacing videos he could find, and after almost three hours of research he came out of his room sweaty and dehydrated, walking on wobbly legs.

He had liked it, a lot.

Still, even if he was now mostly sure of his kink related interests there was a question he had pushed to the back of his mind, one he dreaded to think about and to search an answer for. And that’s why he needed to talk to Piper. After drinking probably a gallon of water and eating some Chinese leftovers he found in the fridge he went back to his room and started looking for his phone, which he had thrown under his bed in a fit of irritation against no one in particular, but specifically himself. He found it and lighting up the screen he was met with a dozen of messages from Piper, and at least five lost calls.

He gulped and dialed her number. He sat on the floor again, the cold tiles making him feel more grounded.

“Oh, now you call back! I was worried sick you fucking piece of shit! What the hell is going on?! I thought you were gonna kill yourself or something!” Piper shouted picking up, almost perforating his eardrum.

“Well it’s not like you answered when I called you and messaged a thousand times! I needed your support!” he shouted back.

“I was literally in a fucking forest and had no signal you asshole! And I called you as soon as I saw your pitiful messages! What’s your excuse aside from being a piece of shit?!” she replied, still angry but he heard there was concern in her voice, and relief too.

“I was-” he stopped, blushing “I was m- I was masturbating” he whispered, hit by the fact that he had actually been masturbating for almost three hours.

“WHAT THE FUCK DUDE” Piper shouted again but he predicted her reaction and swiftly pulled back the phone from his ear.

“Okay okay” he stopped her before she could start shouting again “you have every right to be angry, I know I have been a piece of shit and everything but please listen to me for a sec.”

“I’ll listen but as soon as I get home, I swear to God I’m kicking your ass into next Thursday” she huffed and finally let him speak.

“Okay, thank you, now” he gulped, trying to swallow the knot that had started to form in the back of his throat “I think I may be into Percy…” his voice had turned so tiny he thought Piper hadn’t heard him. The line was quiet for a few beats on the other side, then a soft sigh came.

“You figured it out?” her voice was soft now, no trace of anger or mocking.

“Yeah… I think. How long have you known Pipes? Why didn’t you tell me anything? Is this the reason why you broke up with me?” his voice started breaking, all of the frustration of the last few days finally coming out “Pipes what am I gonna do?”

Piper stayed silent for a few seconds more, then said “That’s a lot of questions honey, and right now I can tell you only that probably I’ve always known that you guy’s friendship was _different_ and that you were not straight, and no, I didn’t break up with you because of this specifically, I knew we weren’t happy anymore, that’s all.”

Jason took a deep breath relaxing a bit, and Piper went on “Jaz, I have no idea what you can do about it but we’ll figure it out together, alright? Now please, just go to sleep. I’ll be back tomorrow, lemme get a shower and I’ll be at your door as soon as I can, okay?” he noticed how tired he was feeling just as Piper had started talking, voice sweet and calming. Pulling himself up from the floor he crawled into his bed.

“You still gonna kick my ass?” he said, as his heavy eyes started closing.

Piper chuckled in reply “Just sleep you idiot” she said, and closed the call.

The day after Jason had woken up late, feeling groggy and exhausted. He was feeling restless already but after about fifteen minutes the doorbell rang and he let Piper in, she sent an “hello” in the direction of Thalia’s room, though it was just out of habit, since she had music blaring so loud it was impossible for her to hear anything, Jason thought some day she’d pop off her eardrums. They went straight to his room and as soon as Piper closed the door behind her Jason turned towards her and basically slammed his body against her minute frame, she almost fell on her ass and let out an “OOF” but he held her close and hugged her tight, leaning down to hide his face in her hair. She patted his back and hugged him, after a few minutes he took a step back and whispered: “thank you”.

They spent the day talking, stuffing their faces with junk food and listening to whatever was Thalia called music (Jason wasn’t a fan but Piper was starting to like it, before leaving she even asked her the name of the album she had been listening and Thalia just gave her the CD, saying she had two copies anyway and was glad someone had _taste_ , making a show of a big eyeroll directed to her poor little brother).

After Piper left Jason felt a little bit less lost and decided to keep his crush to himself. He was no homewrecker and had just found out he liked guys. He would’ve behaved as usual, no need to put his friendship in danger for a stupid crush which, he was sure, would have disappeared before school started.

He was wrong of course.

His crush had stayed mainly dormant during summer, probably because after their birthday Percy had left to spend a month with his parents at their little house by the beach, so everything had been perfectly fine until the first day of school.

Jason had thought, and he was really damn sure, his crush was gone. Dead. Rip. Press F to pay respects, as Leo would say. But when he had spotted his stupid, ridiculously hot, tanned best friend waiting for him to pick him up on the sidewalk and his stomach started doing backflips he knew he was fucked – capital F style – royally fucked. Percy smiled at him brightly, eyes glowing in the light, fresh, air of that September morning and jumped inside the car gingerly. He leaned over to hug him, and Jason smelled the sea in his shaggy, longer than the last time he had seen him, hair.

“Dude, I missed you so much!” Percy said, leaning away to fasten his seatbelt, grinning from ear to ear. Jason remained silent for a second too long, still leaning towards him, and Percy looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “What?” he asked, still smiling.

Jason gulped and shook his head, trying to hide the blush that was creeping up to his cheeks “Nothing, I- I missed you too” he said, voice slightly shaky, then faked a cough and added “Bro you look like a surfer, what’s with the long hair?”, for a second he almost raised an hand to touch his dark hair but decided against it and started driving instead, while Percy told him everything he had done during the month they had spent apart.

Throughout all the car ride Jason listened to Percy’s story without having to reply, basking in his happiness, almost able to ignore the knot that kept growing in his stomach. He parked his car in the parking lot, and they walked up to the front entrance of the school. Once inside they parted ways to head towards their respective lockers. Jason saw Annabeth running towards Percy, hugging and kissing him in the middle of the hallway, and his stomach sunk to his feet.

This year was going to be fucking hard.

The following weeks were literally Hell, Jason couldn’t look anywhere without being reminded of how hot his friend was and how much he liked him. But he couldn’t show it, he couldn’t behave different than usual, or Percy would have noticed for sure, and the frustration started to hit him hard. Soon another kind of frustration came to him and it was almost more unbearable, he was a teen after all, and he had had a girlfriend for the last three years of his life. He wasn’t used to being _sexually frustrated_.

He started feeling a hole burning in his chest whenever he saw Percy changing before PE, or when he saw him training for the swim team, and it felt like it was eating him alive. He needed to find a distraction. Luckily for him Nico was a much more helpful and caring friend than he thought and after a few weeks he confronted him.

Jason was eating alone on the benches, the leaves of the trees that framed the football field had turned completely orange and yellow, but the weather was still warm enough to eat outside. He was lost in thoughts, sandwich half eaten when Nico appeared next to him. Jason yelped and jumped in surprise.

“Fuck, Nico you scared me!”

“I’ve been here for like… three minutes? I thought you were ignoring me.” Nico dead panned, unbothered by his friend’s reaction. He was used to people getting jumpy around him, was it his fault that he was unbelievably quiet? Jason usually was immune to the scary aura that surrounded him and made first years run away, fact that satisfied Nico in a slightly twisted way, and his reaction confirmed that something was wrong with him.

“Sorry I… I was distracted” was Jason’s lame reply.

“So, what’s going on between you and Percy?” Nico asked, straight to the point.

“What-? What’s going on? Nothing at all! Why are you asking?”

“Jaz, relax it’s me, please tell me what’s the matter.” Nico said, putting a hand on Jason’s shoulder while he cleaned his glasses nervously.

“Nic, I may have a big crush on Percy, like real big.” He put the glasses back on the bridge of his nose, stared at him straight in the eyes and repeated “real-fucking-big, Nico”.

Nico stared at him for a second more and then hit him on the forehead with his hand. The sound of the slap left Jason more jarred than the actual sting.

“Holy fucking shit Jaz, I knew it. I knew it.” he said, then added, in a whisper “Will owes me a fucking ice cream”

“What?! Is it so obvious that you and Solace are placing bets on it?” Jason said massaging the slapped skin of his face, it was starting to get red and Nico felt slightly guilty, just a bit.

“Don’t worry man, it was pretty obvious just because we’ve been there, you know.”

Jason’s head snapped up and Nico looked at him with a raised eyebrow “What?!” he asked and in a second two big hands were on his shoulders, and Jason was shaking him like he was an oversized rag doll.

“OH-MY-GOD-IT’S-RIGHT-YOU’VE-DONE-THIS-ALREADY-PLEASE-HELP-ME” every word punctuated by a vigorous shake of poor Nico’s body, who stared big eyed at the uncharacteristically desperate boy in front of him.

“Stop-please-Jason-I’ll-throw-up” he pleaded, and Jason finally let him go.

With his head dizzy and his vision shifting as if he had just come down from a rollercoaster Nico replied: “Jason, my dude, a crush for Percy Jackson is the worst thing that can happen to a guy on this bitch of a planet. You know how it went between us and without you I don’t know if I would have survived. The only help I can give you is the same you gave me years ago.”

“Which would be?” Jason stared at him hopefully, giving him big puppy eyes.

“I’ll support you and I’ll be a shoulder to cry to. That’s all you did.” Nico replied, winking at him.

“GOD I – UGHHH PAST ME WAS USELESS I HATE HIM” he replied and went back to pulling at his short hair desperately.

Nico’s help in the end was much more than just a shoulder to cry on; despite his spiky appearance he cared deeply for Jason and listened to all of his whining, all of his ramblings about how hot or amazing or cool or whatever Percy was. He had literally been there before and, during their deep night calls they laughed about it, making fun of each other’s dumbness. At least Nico had found a soulmate in Will though, Jason didn’t see such a bright future for himself.

Moreover, his little _problem_ with his teenaged – and newfound gay – hormone filled body was becoming more and more troubling. Just masturbating to porn wasn’t doing it. It frustrated him even more. It was Piper the one who came up with the idea of him camming. She said it as a matter of fact, while they were doing some homework after dinner at Jason’s house.

“Why don’t you try camming” she had said without even raising her head from her chemistry book. “I mean, you’re into exhibitionism, right? And you’re eighteen. I think it would be a good distraction”.

Jason had stared at her with his mouth hanging open, dumbfounded, but Piper just ignored him and kept scribbling on her book.

He mumbled something and went back to his own book after a few seconds, but the idea kept buzzing in his head. That night he started gathering information and two weeks later he opened his account under the name of “LightningBug”, it was cheesy and lame and Nico had suggested it as a joke, but Jason grew fond of it so in the end he kept it. Pretty soon he had a quite big crowd of fans and regulars, and his shows earned him good money.

Camming had actually helped him in the end, he could direct his sexual energy towards his shows, and he had the chance to find more about his own kinks, too.

* * *

For almost all of the school year he had been able to pine for Percy from afar, now that he wasn’t thinking constantly about him, in a sexual way at least, he could hang out with him without feeling too guilty. Annabeth was taking prep courses for college, so he had Percy for himself most of the time and the pangs of pain he felt whenever he saw them together where almost bearable.

After all of his – almost year long – pain and pining though now he felt as desperate as he did in September and the problem wasn’t his, this time. He was completely clueless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, finally chapter 3 is ready! It took me quite long to write it but is as long as the previous 2 chapters combined so I hope y'all will forgive me. I can't say when chapter 4 will come because I have exams and shit for the next two weeks but it will, don't worry.  
> Thank you for reading this bitch and please leave comments and kudos.  
> For updates on the chapter's state follow me on [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/Alicesss_)!  
> And to if you love Jason like I do please come scream into the void with me on [tumblr](https://sadchtulhu.tumblr.com/)


	4. Hearts a Mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Messy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Hearts a Mess - Gotye_  
>  Your heart's a mess  
> You won't admit to it  
> It makes no sense  
> But I'm desperate to connect  
> And you, you can't live like this
> 
> _Bitches in My Head - Su Lee_  
>  You're not the type that I like to hang with  
> Got better things that I like to do  
> Go somewhere else here's a little pill  
> Get the fuck out of my head I need none of your shit  
> Bitches in my head

Sunshine hit Percy’s eyes and he cracked one open, groaning loudly. He checked the time on the alarm on his bed table.

6 am. He whined loudly.

He rose from his bed and went straight to the bathroom, ignoring the twinkling lights of his phone. He cursed at himself for setting a different color for each chat: with just a look he knew exactly whose messages he was ignoring. He gulped terrified at the thought of a specific blinking light but stayed on his tracks and reached the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror and grimaced. He looked like shit. Absolute shit. A hand reached for his face and smothered it, he closed his eyes and groaned again.

“Fuck, I need a shower” he said, turning around to start the water, but his hand froze on the cold, silver knob. His stomach started churning, and his eyes filled with tears. “Man, why are you like this!” he mumbled, voice cracking. After drying his eyes hastily with the wrists of his beaten-up blue hoodie he bee lined back to his room and sank face down on his bed. No way he was going back to school in this condition.

* * *

A soft sound woke Percy, he checked his alarm again and the unforgiving, red numbers told him it was 7:30 am. If he had in mind to go to school, he would have to get up now. Luckily, he wasn’t going to, so there was no hurry. Or so he thought.

Another sound, clearly a knock on his door, more insistent now. He ignored it and let his eyelids close, already drifting off back to sleep. A single loud knock came again and woke him for good, as the door slammed open and a tall figure stood on the threshold, the only light coming from the corridor behind her. Percy knew who it was by the way she stood fiercely, wavy blond hair framing a face which he couldn’t see but still he felt her stare burning holes in his soul, just a glint of her grey eyes shining even in the dark of his room.

“PERCY” she said, voice full of authority “what the fuck is going on!”. Annabeth moved towards his bed as Percy pulled the comforter over his head, she sat down next to him and lit up the little bed side lamp, the room wasn’t that dark anymore, now barely illuminated by the blueish light.

Annabeth took a good look at her surroundings, and wrinkled her nose, noticing how messy it was. Percy wasn’t the most organized boyfriend of the world but usually the floor of his room was actually visible… now an indistinguishable amount of _stuff_ , that’s the only way she could bring herself to describe _it_ , was cluttering all the walkable surface. The bed looked like a nest of clothes and covers, every piece of fabric twisting around the other. Clearly the young man, currently hiding under his covers like a little boy, had been tossing and turning no stop. Annabeth’s anger faded a little, but a sharp pang of worry took its place, fast like lightning.

She placed a hand where she guessed his shoulder was and squeezed him softly.

“Percy please, talk to me…” she pleaded.

Under her hand she felt a slight shiver at first, then after a few long breaths Percy was trembling and hiccupping, all of his body shacking terribly. Annabeth’s eyes stung with tears and she bit her lower lip, trying to stop her chin from quivering.

“Fuck this” she whispered, “I’m coming under, Perce” and kicked off her shoes. She expected some kind of resistance but met none as she raised the covers and stuffed her body underneath, pushing against the sick warmth created by the boy’s body and his ragged, labored breathing.

The blue light that was illuminating the room couldn’t reach them now but for a brief second Annabeth caught the glint of Percy’s eyes looking at her, sea green irises clouded by the tears. She tried to meet his gaze, but he turned around, and the only thing she could see now was the back of his head, an unruly bush of dark hair. Her hands found their way around his chest and she hugged him tight, trying to comfort him.

“Breathe please, just breathe” she whispered, and it almost felt like she was trying to put him under a spell, to break the loop of sobs and hiccups he was caught in. After a few minutes her chanting seemed to actually work, and Percy’s breathing got much more regular. Annabeth thought he may have fallen asleep but when she started moving from her position to caress his back, his hands blocked her arms, keeping her from moving away.

“Please, just- just a little longer” his voice was nothing more than a whisper, still breaking because of the last sobs that by now shook him once every while.

“Of course, honey” Annabeth replied, hugging him even tighter, breathing against the nape of his neck “I’m here for you, take your time” she closed her eyes and waited for Percy to be finally ready to speak.

* * *

Percy felt her soft breath against his neck, he knew Annabeth was waiting for him to explain, to say something, but he couldn’t talk, he couldn’t tell her anything about _this_ – whatever it was that was making him crazy – sending his mind spinning around without control. Annabeth’s warm, solid body felt comforting and grounding against his back but the nagging guilt he had tried to bury deep in his stomach the past days was coming back up in full strength. All of his hard work and denial thrown out of the window because he was weak and couldn’t control his emotions when her voice was veined with so much worry.

He tried to muster some courage, but the seconds ticked by and the words just wouldn’t come out of his mouth.

_Just fucking say something already you piece of shit!!_

_Why do you have to be so fucking stupid._

_JUST SPEAK GODDAMMIT-_

The angrier his thoughts got the worse he felt, his breath started coming fast again but Annabeth was there next to him, she noticed and carded her fingers through his hair, and it should have made him feel better, comforted. But it didn’t.

_You’re fucking disgusting._

_She’ll notice you haven’t showered in days._

_She’ll break up with you before even knowing that you’re-_

“Percy” her voice broke his spiraling thoughts, “You don’t have to tell me what’s going on if you don’t feel ready, but please come back to school. This – staying here in the darkness – won’t help you. Please.”

Annabeth’s voice was steady and sure, he knew his lack of response probably hurt her a lot but she was putting up a strong façade for the both of them, so he decided to go along. He turned around, forehead pushed against her chest, and took a deep breath.

“Thank you” was all he could muster without going back to the sobbing mess state. He felt a kiss on the top of his head and a soft pull.

“C’mon, get out of here and take a shower, we’ll make it in time for second period.” now a slight urgency veined her words and Percy remembered, once again feeling riddled with guilt, that Annabeth couldn’t really allow herself to skip school if she wanted to get into her first choice college.

_Shit_

He hurried out of the bed and ran to the bathroom, took the fastest shower of his life and tried not to look at his reflection in the mirror, he didn’t want to know how puffy and red his eyes looked, or how hollow his cheeks were. After showering he went back to his room to get some clean clothes on.

His girlfriend wasn’t on his bed anymore, but the shuts of the windows were completely open, and a soft, late spring breeze was coming through. Five minutes later he stepped in the light of the kitchen, Annabeth was waiting for him at the dining table, phone in her hands. A blueberry cupcake steaming in front of her. Percy’s stomach made an happy sound at the smell and he couldn’t help but wonder how long it had been since he had eaten something.

The girl at the table raised her eyes from her phone and gave him a big smile.

“Sally left this for you before heading to work, I warmed it up” a slight blush covered her cheeks, cooking was one of the few things she didn’t excel at, and she was used to Percy’s jokes about it, she looked as if she was waiting for one but he didn’t seem in the mood to make fun of her yet.

“I’m so hungry I’d actually accept it even if you had made with your own hands” he joked, a little smile pulling at his lips.

Annabeth’s smile grew bigger and she let out a little breath of relief “You’re back!” she stood up and hugged him tight.

“Y-yeah” Percy replied, guilt and tears stinging him.

_Stop_

_Stop_

_You’re not gonna break down again_

They broke the hug and Percy downed the muffin so fast he almost chocked. Annabeth made fun of him, saying he looked like an hamster and for a few minutes everything was back to normal, for a minute he wasn’t questioning everything about his life. For a minute he didn’t feel like his head was splitting open, he had read somewhere that Zeus had given birth to his daughter Athena like that. He wondered why he even remembered that stupid info, he hadn’t thought about Greek mythology since he was a kid. The moment passed fast though, and soon Annabeth was taking her backpack, stretching a hand towards him and saying they should get going.

Percy’s stomach dropped to his feet and he felt the urge to run and hide, but Annabeth’s grey eyes were looking at him full of hope and her hand was still waiting for him, unwavering. He didn’t want to hurt her more than he was already doing so he willed his legs in movement, even though they felt like they were made of stone and took her hand.

The drive to school went quite smoothly, Annabeth drove chatting idly and not expecting answers from Percy, which filled him with gratitude. He wasn’t really listening, head against the head rest and gaze pointed out of the open window, he studied the street that took them to school every day looking for differences, like you’d do in a game of find Waldo. Maybe over the week he had spent closed in isolation a new Starbucks had opened, or the old house down the block – the one they used to say was haunted when they were kids – had finally collapsed to the ground.

Nothing was different outside though, the only thing that felt different was inside of him. He felt raw, like he had been torn open and his flesh had been left exposed to the air, everything sent tears to his eyes. The tears would’ve swelled over the dam of his lashes if some of the words that were leaving Annabeth’s mouth hadn’t caught his attention.

“… is giving a party tonight, I was gonna ask you to come but if you don’t feel like it, I’ll go by myself.” She sent him a brief stare as she made a right turn, “Or, if you prefer, we can stay in and watch a movie…”

“No, I wanna go”

“Are you sure… maybe –“ she sounded hesitant and her reaction irritated Percy.

“Yes.” He said harshly, with a tone that left no room for a reply and Annabeth just stared at him for a second, an eyebrow raised in suspicion. Rather than replying she decided to focus on the street in front of them and covered the last bit of space that separated them from the school parking in silence.

* * *

“Oh! Am I drunk or is that Percy Jackson finally back from the dead?!” Leo’s voice came from the far end of the hallway, and Percy’s blood froze in his veins. Leo’s humor was the last thing he needed that morning. He wanted to run, and almost made an attempt but when he turned around the short boy was already next to him, grinning from ear to ear.

“So? Where the hell have you been? I’ve texted you like three hundred times at least!” he placed an arm around Percy’s shoulder, which wasn’t easy as he was at least 20 centimeters shorter, and pulled him down in an hug. “We missed you man”.

“You missed me just because no one else skips class with you” Percy hugged him back, a warm feeling crawling and settling in his stomach, being with Leo felt like having a little sun in your pocket, “and no, I’m not going to skip today”.

“Man, you suck, you were sooo cool once” Leo replied, heading towards the closest fire exit, the one he had personally deactivated on their first year, “I’ll leave you to class then, when you stop being lame hit me up” with a wink he disappeared behind the door.

Percy shook his head and moved towards his class, envying his friend and his carefree attitude. He had missed too many days of school, and of swimming practice too, to be honest he cared more about the latter but to stay in the swim team he had to keep going to school, you know. And try to get decent grades too, or his mother would’ve killed him. Actually, she wouldn’t but it was the only thing that kept him from flunking. He wasn’t a smarty pants “all study no play” like his girlfriend, or Jason.

His hand stilled on the doorknob at the thought, he had gotten so distracted by his thoughts that he’d forgotten about the reason he didn’t want to be in school in the first place.

Jason.

He swallowed the knot that had formed on the back of his throat and opened the door. He had made it just in time for the class to start, after a brief look at his classmates he moved towards one of the free seats in the back of the room. At least he missed first period and wouldn’t have to see Jason until the last. He could avoid him easily. It’s not like he had sent him a hundred messages during his absence. Actually, he hadn’t texted at all and when Percy had checked his account on the cam site, because of course he had, it appeared like the last show he had done was the one Percy had seen.

_What if he knows_

_He knows it was you_

_He saw you_

_He’s ignoring you because he knows_

_SHUT UP_

Jason couldn’t possibly know, and Percy was aware of it, but his brain refused to believe it. He knew he was ignoring him because of how Percy had behaved the week prior, and he knew he was probably doing so to give him space or some kind of bullshit like that.

Percy hated it. And he hated Jason. He didn’t even know why, it’s not like it was the first time he had gotten off to a man, and it had never given him any trouble. But knowing it was Jason, his stomach kept knotting tighter and tighter, he was sure he was getting an ulcer.

“Mr. Jackson –”

“Mr. Jackson…”

“PERCY JACKSON!”

“What – !” Percy’s head snapped towards the voice that was calling his name, and suddenly he remembered he was in class and the voice that was saying his name was the teacher’s. “S-sorry Ms. Dodds, I – I –”

“Yes Mr. Jackson, you got distracted, we noticed” she said with a twisted smile “can you please answer the question?”

“Which question Ms.?” Percy replied, looking around at his classmates for help, but no one met his eyes.

_Assholes_

“Hmpf. Of course, go back to sleeping Jackson, it’s the only useful thing you do in my class anyways.” She said with a raised eyebrow and a mocking scowl, “Perez, you answer the question”

Percy was used to the teacher’s micro aggressions – she had hated him since the first day of high school – and usually he didn’t give a shit about her, but now he was seeing red. He cursed himself for not following Leo, the boy was probably smoking weed under the bleachers and Percy envied him so hard. He had to endure this fucking class and apparently, he had the permission to sleep. Well, he sure as hell wasn’t going to give Ms. Dodds a chance to make fun of him again, he was going to pay attention to class and take notes and – and after a few minutes he found himself drifting away once again. He really couldn’t stand the teacher’s voice, it repulsed him so much! His thoughts went back to Jason at first, but it made him feel so nervous he had to make an actual effort, straining his will power, to change the subject of his thoughts. He started thinking about the party that Annabeth had mentioned, and he remembered that he hadn’t asked her whose party was. He didn’t care anyways, if Annabeth wanted to go it was going to be a good party, that was for sure. His girlfriend had good taste when it came to parties… on the flip side she usually preferred going to the ones where their whole gang was invited, which meant that Jason would be there.

_Fuck_

No, he wasn’t going to let himself think about him again: he decided to focus on his look for the evening. Yes, that was a nice distraction.

* * *

All of Percy’s morning classes had passed in a haze, the teachers ignored him and his mind drifted away, he tried to not dwell on the thought of the party, or the forthcoming P.E. period, both ideas keeping the tangle of emotions in his gut well knotted. Finally, the last bell rang, and he had to make his way to the gym, dreading every second of the short walk. Of course, usually he went with Jason, they raced each other to the gym. And, of course, they challenged each other at every sport the teacher decided to make the class play. No way that was going to happen now.

Percy waited for a while outside of the locker room doors, hoping to be alone in the changing room, and when he thought the way was clear he came in. Of course, it wasn’t.

Jason was sitting on a bench, tying his shoelaces. Percy’s breath caught in his throat and he stilled on the threshold. He stared with wide eyes at Jason’s muscular back as the boy stood up and pulled his shirt on, and then jogged in the gym through the other door, not giving any sign of having noticed him.

Percy released his breath and changed himself hurriedly, tips of the ears burning red hot.

_You can’t let this happen_

_He’s just Jason, stop it_

_You’ve seen him naked a million times_

_Just stop it_

His brain could keep making rational thoughts for days, but his heartbeat killed every attempt at reasoning. The lies he kept telling himself sounded more and more fake and forced.

In a matter of seconds, he was ready and, for a guy who was dreading this moment he really seemed eager to enter the gym. He told himself he just missed working out and moving around, and went in.

The class had already started, but he already knew that, he had heard the teacher’s screams and his harsh reprimands from inside the locker room. Today’s activity was basket, one of the sports that he and Jason enjoyed the most, they loved to play against each other, and they loved to team up and defeat their opponents. When they teamed up no one could beat them. Percy swallowed and headed to the bench, hoping for his entrance to go unnoticed, but as soon as he stepped inside the gym his classmates spotted him, called a substitution and pulled him in the court, ignoring his pleas to be left alone.

Of course, he ended up in the team that was playing against Jason. For a second, his eyes met his best friend’s ones, the flash of perfect white teeth caught Percy’s attention as he was hit by a challenging smirk. Percy blushed and lowered his gaze, focusing on the ball. He decided to just play and get all of his worries out of his system for a while.

It worked, until it didn’t.

Both Percy and Jason scored point after point for their teams, and the competitivity Percy wasn’t feeling at first came to him all together, he wanted to destroy Jason’s team. He deserved a win. On a risky passage the boys collided and ended up piled on each other. Percy found himself on top of Jason, the blonde sprawled on the floor underneath him chuckled and he was met by a surprised smile.

“The next time invite me to dinner first, Jackson!” Jason taunted, a genuine smile on his face. He raised a hand to touch his friend’s shoulder, but Percy jumped away like electricity had coursed through his body, face suddenly pale like he had seen a ghost.

“Leave me alone, freak!” Percy found himself growling back, brow furrowed over crazed eyes. “Don’t you dare touching me again” he snarled and ran away, leaving Jason on the floor, hand still outstretched, a heartbroken look on his eyes.

Percy marched towards the locker room barely holding back the tears that were threatening to fall out of his eyes. He wasn’t going to cry in front of everyone, but he couldn’t hold up much longer. He didn’t bother changing clothes and ran away, passing through the hallways he knew would’ve been empty, heart pumping faster than ever in his chest, then, when he could almost taste the freedom and the fresh air that was waiting for him outside on the tip of his tongue, he ran out of luck. A harsh turn after a flight of stairs brought him directly against the back of his girlfriend. He bounced back and Annabeth’s books almost fell from her hands.

“What the fuck?!” she gasped, in an indignant tone, as she turned around. Percy had somewhat regained control of his expression, or so he thought, but the pitiful look the girl gave him said quite the opposite. “Percy aren’t you supposed to be in class?” she asked, clearly doing her best to not ask him what was going on.

“I – I didn’t feel well…” his reply sounded fake even to his own ears and he mentally punched himself. Annabeth’s face scrunched in an even more worried expression, if that was possible.

_Lie better asshole_

“A basketball hit me on the head and I felt nauseous so I was going out to get some fresh air” he tried again, giving her a fake smile that said “ _please, please, let it drop”._ She did let it drop, not before giving him a sympathetic smile that replied, “ _I’m here if you need me”_. Percy thanked her with a little peck on her cheek and ran away once again. Finally, he got out in the fresh air. He kept walking until he found the farthest bench from the school grounds and let himself break down.

_You’re a fucking piece of shit_

_I hate you, I hate you so much_

_You don’t deserve Her_

_You don’t deserve to be His friend_

_You’re the worst fucking person in the world_

After what felt like hours his tear ducts felt dry and his sadness and desperation had slowly shifted into rage and bitterness. He remembered about the party and decided that if he was going to be miserable, he could at least drink himself to numbness. A wicked grin spread through his face at the thought, and as he stood up, making his way towards the school – he still had to retrieve his stuff before the hallways got swarmed by people, buzzing for the weekend – his phone started vibrating in his pocket. It was Annabeth telling him to get ready to leave. He jogged back inside and met her at the car 15 minutes later.

* * *

“… _nnn ..._ ”

“ _… yes c’mon …”_

_“… f-fuck …”_

_“… fu_ ck no nononono fuck you!!”

Almost half an hour and all Percy wanted was to cum. Really, he _needed_ to find some sort of release. But, alas, even though he had been trying his best, concentrating harder than he had ever had in his life, he couldn’t for the life of him get Jason out of his head.

It had started nice, Annabeth and he had made out in her car for a while before she had to rush back to school for study group, she had left a bit disheveled, hair messy and bra unclasped. Percy had gotten inside his house buzzing to get some more action, his mother away for some grocery shopping, at least the post it she had left on the fridge said so.

His laptop was hidden under a pile of blankets on the ground next to his bed and when he picked it up and started it his stomach was tingling, thrilled by the idea of the forthcoming release. He scoped the internet for some good porn, maybe some scene in which he could imagine Annabeth into… that would’ve been nice. But after no more than five minutes he found himself roaming towards the cam site where he had found Jason the first time. His stomach turned and squeezed harder, he was becoming so used to the feeling that now he could lie to himself and pretend that it was just because he was really, _really, fucking horny._

The little arrow of his cursor floated over the cam window, but at the last moment he cursed, closed his computer with an harsh movement, and decided he could do this the ancient way.

No internet, just his imagination.

The ancient way sucked literal ass. Every time he tried to imagine his beautiful, sexy, hot, gorgeous girlfriend all he could think about was Jason. His smile, his shoulders as he moved past him, hitting him and almost throwing to the ground with his wider body, the sweat that covered his arms when Percy had collapsed over him that morning.

Percy was trying, he was trying so hard to get him out of his head, but he was starting to believe that it was a work too big for him.

_Fuck, no, concentrate_

_Annabeth – Annabeth Chase – your hot smart girlfriend, remember about her?_

_C’mon you can do this_

_Fuck, please…!_

Flashes of the show Jason had given on the internet overlapped over the images he tried to conjure of his girlfriend, twisting them, changing the protagonist of his fantasies.

After what felt like hours, a hand gripping on his poor dick so hard it had become raw and oversensitive, he gave up. Frustration built up in his gut, and he knew it was Jason’s fault, it was his fucking fault if he couldn’t even jerk off to his girlfriend anymore without thinking about him.

He was going fucking crazy.

Then a weird thought hit him, and it dawned on him that this was a game two could play. He would’ve fought fire with fire, it was decided.

* * *

Jason wasn’t in the mood for partying anymore.

He had been at first, that morning getting ready, he had felt like finally Percy would’ve come back to school. He wanted him back. It wasn’t the same without him, and no, it wasn’t his crush speaking.

Now though, after Percy’s reaction to his joke, he wanted to hide in the deepest hole he could dig. Maybe run away to Mexico, that seemed to be a nice exit, it had saved his father a lot of trouble when he was born. Disappearing seemed the only way to escape the embarrassment and guilt that lingered over him. It was as clear as the little square of blue sky he could see from his window that Percy knew about him, but how? And was it the reason why Percy had been behaving so strangely?

He rolled on his stomach, the springs of his old bed squeaking under his weight.

Jason didn’t pin Percy as a homophobe, half of their best friends were _not straight,_ and he had always been supportive, he had been so excited to go to the Pride the year before, for fuck’s sake! How could he treat Jason like that just because he had found out about him being attracted to men!? It made no sense. This Percy didn’t match the image of him that lived in Jason’s head.

But, unfortunately, the facts spoke clearly and Jason had to scratch the perfect little Percy he had always idealized and make a new portrait of him, a mean and painful reflection of the boy he, apparently, didn’t know as well as he had always thought.

He felt disgusting and horrible.

Going to a stupid party was the last thing he wanted to do. He had made a promise though: Frank had basically begged him and Piper to help him set everything up for that evening. His grandmother had finally decided he was big enough – and he’d dare you to try and _find_ someone who would say he wasn’t – to be on his own for a few days. So, of course, Frank had decided to do the very thing his grandmother had prohibited: throwing a party. He had invited just few close friends but when you throw a party you never know how the turn up is going to be; sometimes you don’t have enough room for all the guests and sometimes the morning after you end up throwing away all the delicious entrees you had made with so much love.

Jason had given his word and, no matter what happened to him, he would never leave a friend in need, even if the need was a hand to throw a stupid fucking party in the worst day of his life.

Piper and he went with separate cars, Jason needed the time of the drive alone to prepare himself for the evening. He tried to build walls around his heart and added some trench filled with crocodiles too, just in case.

Jason arrived earlier than his ex-girlfriend but waited for her on the front porch of Frank’s big white colonic house. Piper climbed down of her car and moved towards him, taking off her big sunglasses. She looked like a top model, wearing an high waisted jeans skirt and a bralette, everything in a shade of faded blue that complimented her. Long hair pulled up in a ponytail kept in place by a red scrunchie, matching her red converse shoes. When Jason saw her his heart skipped a beat, old habits are hard to kill, but she did really look great.

Piper’s look made him feel self-conscious in his outfit, sending a pang of anxiety through his chest. He had spent two hours trying to decide what to wear, scared of looking “too gay” – what the hell did that even mean?! – and in the end he had decided to go for faded, skinny jeans that he thought made his ass look really good and a fitted raglan t-shirt with dark blue sleeves, he had chosen the pair of glasses that best matched the blue of his t-shirt, a pair of white sneakers and called it a day. Next to her he felt underdressed, he knew he should have gotten used to it by now, but it’s hard when your (ex-)girlfriend is a fashionista and future “renovator of the fashion industry”, her words, not his.

Upon seeing him Piper let out an appreciating whistle, though, and the knot that had tightened in Jason’s stomach relaxed slightly. Her approval was more than enough for his self-esteem.

“Looking dapper” she said, winking at him, stretching on the tip of her toes to kiss his cheek, “are you gonna make a move on him?”

“Not after he called me a freak out of the blue today, and you’re looking quite dashing yourself m’lady” he replied, kissing her back.

Piper’s smile dropped and she shrieked with indignation “He called you a what now?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> Here I am with the new update! And I'm in time with my schedule since it's still sunday here in Italy! Ah-ah!  
> I hope you liked this new chapter and actually I have an extra for y'all! I made a little mood [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0VwYeaeK01HpoIOw4LX962?si=9KCSmZAaT36sBqIpAQxg2Q) for this fic, I use it for inspiration. It includes songs that I haven't yet used but are going to be pretty important in the future so feel free to listen and try to guess what's gonna happen ;)  
> As usual you can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/alicesss_) and [tumblr](https://sadchtulhu.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> Kudos and comments are highly appreciated!!
> 
> See you in September for the fifth chapter!!


	5. Impending Kharma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party pt.1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nicotine - Panic! At The Disco   
> "Just one more hit and then we're through  
> 'Cause you could never love me back  
> Cut every tie I have to you  
> 'Cause your love's a fucking drag  
> But I need it so bad  
> Your love's a fucking drag  
> But I need it so bad"
> 
> Drinks - Cyn  
> "He got mad, so I got drinks  
> Yeah, some shit went down, so now I'm up for anything  
> Out with my friend, drinking a drink  
> I don't know what the problem is, I don't think it's me"

“It’s late. We’re late. We’re fucking late.” If Percy’s steps in the hallway could’ve carved a trail on the marbled floor by now, he would’ve been in a trench three feet deep.

“Baby she’ll be here soon! You know how it is with her study groups…” Sally started, trying to calm him with a soothing tone in her voice.

Percy didn’t want to be calmed though; his mind was racing too fast to calm down. Anxiety running through his body like that time he drank three cups of double brewed coffee in half an hour just to prove Leo he could.

He definitely couldn’t.

There was no double coffee today though, and his anxiety wasn’t a sick joke pulled by his mind. Annabeth was never late. Never.

Ten minutes more of walking up and down the hallway and Percy’s head started spinning. He sat down on a chair at the dining table, in front of his mother. She looked at him with her usual soft, gentle gaze, but the worry lines that the years of being a single parent had carved around her eyes started irking him, just the sight of those innocuous wrinkles made him feel guilty.

Earlier that evening, when Percy finally had come out of his room, Sally had been left speechless. For a few minutes the pride he had felt for how good he looked, for the absolute sluttiness of his outfit, had made him feel invincible and he would’ve told anyone that he couldn’t give a shit about what other people thought about him but by now the adrenaline rush was long gone and the guilt had caught up to him, making him self-conscious and antsy.  
No way he could keep waiting there, in front of her. Under her soft but relentless scrutiny. Not after the terribly dirty, impure thoughts that had crossed his mind that evening while he was getting ready for the party. He felt his skin paper thin, and he started thinking maybe she could see behind him, inside him. The parts so deep of himself that he so desperately wanted to hide from everyone and everything.

His phone started ringing after a few more minutes of uncomfortable silence and Percy jumped out of his skin. “Fuckin’ finally” he whispered under his breath, and leaped to the door, jacket in one hand and phone in the other. A soft cough stopped him in his tracks and made him turn around.

“Be careful baby, and don’t argue with her. Please” Sally’s eyes were so soft and filled with so much that love it made him only angrier and more irritated.

“Yeah mom don’t worry, we’re gonna be fine.” He shut the door behind himself without looking back, guilt spreading in his stomach as soon as the loud sound of the door closing hit his ears, it made his eyes sting with hot tears, but he wished them away as he ran down the stairs.

Annabeth’s car was waiting for him in front of the building, flashing red lights in the dark of the night.

“You’re late” he deadpanned as a greeting. Annabeth’s reply was swallowed by the engine coming to life, but it sounded very much like a “fuck you too”. Percy decided to let it slide, aside from his bad mood he really didn’t want to fight with his girlfriend, not tonight.

“Why the hell are you dressed like that?!” Annabeth did a double take of his appearance at a red light, barely holding her laughter, eyes crackling at the corners.

“You don’t need to be such a bitch! Are you feeling threatened? Scared maybe I’ll leave with someone else tonight?” Percy taunted her, half joking half serious, throat closing around the words just as they came out of his mouth. As he stared out to the street, he realized just how much of what he had just said was actually true, at least on a sub-conscious level and cold sweat started dripping down his neck. Luckily for him the idea felt so absurd to Annabeth that she almost missed a stop because of the laughing fit that shook her body.

“Jeez try not killing us while you’re at it, Annabeth!” Percy’s screeched indignantly as his hands flew to the door handle, frantically trying to not crash his head against the dashboard, his poorly hidden panic made her sober up a little but laughter kept bubbling around her lips and inevitably caught Percy too.

“Sorry baby but you sounded so serious!” she kept laughing, moisture forming at the brink of her eyes “You look delicious though, a total snack, I am so jealous of whoever’ll take you home tonight” she winked at him through fits of giggles. Percy’s blood froze once again, and the laughter died on his lips. “Thank you” he replied awkwardly and after a few seconds added “you look great, by the way”.

Annabeth had finally stopped laughing and she blushed a little, “Thanks, Rachel helped me choose the outfit” her voice wavered slightly but Percy didn’t give it much thought, too busy questioning himself, his true intentions and basically every life choice he had ever made. Pretty chill, uh?

“Oh, that’s why you were so late then. I knew the study group couldn’t take so long…” he said, just because he felt bad for leaving her hanging like that, he didn’t actually care. He wanted to get over with this night already and Frank’s house was just a few blocks away. He didn’t register the way Annabeth gulped at his words, nor the tremble in her voice when she replied “Y-yeah, we kinda lost track of time…”

“Yeah yeah, no problem, don’t worry” Frank’s house was on sight and Percy’s hand was on the door handle again, he had to make his grand entrance and make it alone. As soon as the car slowed down in front of the villa he jumped out, “Later” he said without looking back. Annabeth didn’t have time to say a word as he had covered half of the driveway already, too far away to hear her reply anyway.

Percy stepped in from the main door and it took him a second to get his bearings. Every lamp was covered by conveniently placed pieces of cloth, foulards and scarfs, giving the usually well illuminated house a boudoir-ish feel. If Piper wasn’t going to make it in fashion she sure as hell had a future in interior design.

Music boomed so loud the wooden walls trembled, his teeth rattled in his mouth and the lows kept getting caught in the cage of his ribs, making his heartbeat switch rate according to the rhythm of the music. He chuckled but the sound didn’t get to his ears, swallowed by the reverberating and alluring mess that came from deeper within the house. Smiling to himself in the empty hallway he guessed that his friends had set up Leo’s new and improved music system. His beloved creation.

Nana Zhang was going to be so fucking furious.

As he made his way down to the big dining room where the actual party was taking place he met a few familiar faces from school, and the looks he got from them filled him with pride. And self-consciousness, but he pushed down the latter and decided to make a stop in the kitchen to find something to drink before going in, liquid courage had never felt so alluring.  
With a slight tremble in his body – anticipation or anxiety? – he started roaming the house, mind set on trying to find the prey he was going to bait and lure.

* * *

Jason’s head was spinning, the faces of the people around him kept spiraling, mashing together in grotesque masks, he felt like he was drowning and really he shouldn’t have been drinking that much, but anxiety had filled him soon after the party had started. The music kept booming around him, he could feel it with all of his senses except his hearing, too strained and unfocused to actually perceive anything. He kept dancing though, Piper moved next to him and he looked at her feeling like he was watching from an external point of view. He was out of his skin and inside at the same time, his thoughts made perfect sense one moment and the one after he felt delirious. The music stopped for a second and he felt the loss of it in his bones, a brief sigh of relief leaving his body and taking a bit of the pressure away. He took another look around the room as the next song started, a popular one judging by the way the people around him reacted. The curiosity about its name left his mind in a second though, because when he turned around for the thousandth time, anxiously checking for newcomers, the one which had inhabited his mind all evening long had actually, finally, walked through the kitchen door.

The dimmed lights shined over his figure in a way that made Jason’s legs weak and he knew that it wasn’t because of the alcohol he had been drinking. If his brain had been laggy and slow until a few moments before now it had gone in complete freeze mode. He stared at Percy like a deer caught in headlights for what felt like hours. Suddenly he was back to himself, grounded by the mere presence of Percy in front of him, in front of him dressed like that.

Through all of the years they had known each other the most risqué looks Jason had ever seen on his best friend were the ones he had to wear (mandatory) for school plays, otherwise his wardrobe was entirely made of oversized hoodies and skinny ripped jeans. Or so he had thought. The vision in front of him was wearing a crop top the color of the sea, that showed his abs and made the warm tone of his skin pop, a jeans skirt clad tight around his hipbones – so short that it made Jason blush and absolutely he wasn’t thinking about how much of the brunette’s thighs he could see and how hard he wanted to bite on that soft, sensitive, skin – what really was going to send him to an early grave, though, wasn’t the fact that Percy was wearing a skirt as much as what he was wearing underneath it. His long, toned, legs were wrapped by holey fishnets.  
It left Jason in such utter disbelief, and arousal, that Piper’s voice – in the form of a shriek – in the silence of the room pushed the breath out of his lungs. Or maybe he hadn’t been breathing for the past two minutes. Leave it to Percy to blow his mind like that, face lit by alcohol and chin up as if he was trying to square up before a fistfight. The brunette searched the room with a challenging look in his eyes and Jason felt drawn to it, as if it were the water he needed so desperately after crossing a desert. He purposefully met his eyes, accepting the challenge with a shiver that rattled his bones.

“You did it you fucking – “ Piper’s voice got swallowed again by the music as she ran towards Percy, jumping around him like an overexcited puppy. Percy lowered his gaze and brought an hand to the back of his neck, scratching it in a show of embarrassment, but his eyes kept reaching for Jason and there wasn’t a drop of awkwardness in them.  
Still glued to the floor, surrounded by people dancing, Jason watched Piper and Percy speak for a few beats, then the boy got called over by Leo – who was at the console DJing like his life depended on it – and as Piper started to move, headed back to the dancefloor he intercepted her, grabbed her arm and pulled in an hallway. His ears were ringing now at the sudden loss of booming music, his heart was aching with a soft pang of jealousy at Piper’s betrayal. Feelings a mess in his chest, swirling around in what felt like a riptide.

“What the fuck Pipes?” He started when finally no one was around anymore, his voice a few tones too high.

“No – no dude, what the fuck yourself!” She interrupted him pulling away the arm Jason was still holding tightly, the other flew to point a finger against his chest “What’s your problem!?”

“After all he’s done you’ve helped him!?” he tried to explain, lowering his voice and breathing slowly to calm down. “And you told him to dress like that! Are you trying to kill me?”

Piper stared at him with a quirked eyebrow but her expression softened when she heard the strain in his voice, the finger she was pointing at his chest lowered and she pushed her open palm over his heart, hand tiny against his wide chest.

“Honey I didn’t know what had happened, he called me this afternoon rambling about outfits and skirts and I just hinted at what would’ve looked best on him. That’s all” she looked a bit sheepish though, the blush on her cheeks giving her away.

“And…?” he pressed her.

“And what?” she replied, shifting her gaze trying to play dumb. Jason didn’t buy it though, and at his suspicious stare she caved in “Okay, okay – you’re relentless, man! – I knew the kind of… “ she hesitated for a second, raising her eyes to catch his gaze “effect it would’ve had on you and I kind of wanted to give you a shake, okay?!” at the confession Jason raised his hands to his hair and began shaking his head.

“Pipes I’m not a homewrecker! I can’t do this!”

“But – but Jason listen to me!” she whisper-shouted as he started to turn around and leave “why the hell do you think he dressed up like that!? For Annabeth? She’s not even around!” that caught Jason’s attention and he hesitated.

“Did he tell you something – ?” a sliver of hope in his eyes, hope that Piper smothered lowering her gaze and breathing out the softest “No”.

“Leave me alone then” he said, turning around, voice soft and almost breaking “please.”

* * *

  
Percy’s evening wasn’t going as expected. After some kids from the swimming team had pulled him in the middle of the dance floor – forcing him to lose sight of Jason – his attention had been focused on enjoying the party. And he was having fun, for sure. His glass was never empty, and everyone seemed even friendlier than usual. The alcohol buzzed through his veins, his toned arms kept moving in front of him as he danced, jumping around without bothering to follow the rhythm of the music. Even though his head felt weightless and mostly empty, slightly spinning, his brain kept reminding that there was something he needed to do. Someone he had to see, to talk to. The nagging feeling, tugging at the outskirts of his brain finally lighted up like the alarm of an ambulance when he spotted him.

Jason was crossing rapidly the big room, eyes cast to the ground, making a slightly wavy bee-line toward the kitchen.

Percy grinned, the feeling of the sparks they had shared just minutes – it had been just a few minutes, right? – before still fresh in his stomach, he untangled himself from the mess of bodies that kept bouncing around him and moved in his friend’s direction, not failing to notice the displeased sounds that came from the little group that had been dancing with him, not completely drowned by the impossibly loud music. He turned to wink at the crowd, a feeble promise of return.

He found Jason in the kitchen, hands gripping the sides of the sink as he stared outside the huge window that occupied all of the wall’s width. Percy jumped on the counter next to him, visibly startling the blonde at the sudden movement.

“Watcha doin’ man?” he asked, slurring his words a bit, as he crossed his legs in front of him. It wasn’t quite as easy as movies made it look, but he managed a good job at appearing at least a tiny bit attractive, he thought.

Jason turned to face him, picked a shot glass full of a clear liquid, and downed it in one go, “What do you think I’m doing, man” replied, voice full of sarcasm.

“Um, I don’t know, that’s why am asking…” thrown off by the cold edge of Jason’s voice Percy pouted and untwined his legs on the counter, crossing his ankles awkwardly. The alcohol buzzing in his veins kept him from remembering what the hell he could have done to entice such an harsh reaction from his friend.

At the mumbled reply guilt ran through Jason, but it was too late now. He was too angry and bitter to stop the tsunami of words that was threatening to come out of his mouth.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Percy?!” he started, voice an octave higher than his usual, cracking at the edges “first you stop talking to me out of the blue , then you skip school and ignore everyone for a whole week. This morning you called me a fucking fag and now you come here, dressed like that...?!” a poignant stare made his point clear – and Percy shrinked trying to physically shield himself from the truth he wasn’t ready to hear – Jason cringed at his own words, anger leaving space to frustration and sadness, but he kept going nonetheless “What do you want from me? Please Percy, I don’t understand what the hell is going on with you!” he finished, chest heaving, eyes full of tears behind his glasses.

They stayed in silence for what felt like hours, staring at each other, eyes fixed. Jason was waiting for an answer and Percy was trying to jumpstart his brain, trying to make out a full sentence that wouldn’t have brought him to tears and a bubbling mumbling mess as he started to speak.

He couldn’t find any, so he just kept his eyes locked into Jason’s and his mouth shut.

At last Jason scoffed and turned around, tired of waiting for an answer that apparently wasn’t going to come.

Percy couldn’t bring himself to move while Jason stepped away, couldn’t bring himself to plead him to stop, staring at him with lifeless – glazed over – eyes. His heart was beating so hard in his chest, buzzing in his eardrums, he couldn’t hear anything but his blood racing through his body, then a surge of adrenaline – or sheer desperation? – electrocuted him and he lunged, raising an arm to grab Jason’s wrist. At the pull the taller boy turned around once again, face twisted in an expression of pain and sadness.

“Jason I – fuck I – “ he stammered, trying to swallow the knot that kept his tongue from moving.

“Man just clear up your head or whatever and then maybe we’ll talk, I don’t want to waste any more time on this” Jason interrupted him, pulling away from the hand that held him, once again voice cold and detached.

“No please, Jay. I – I don’t know what’s wrong with me, okay? I am so sorry for what I said today and for being a piece of shit, please” he begged “please just don’t – don’t take it personal, okay? Fuck I’m – I’m too drunk to even try to explain, just believe me, okay? Please!”

Jason could pass as a buff strong guy to people who’d only seen him from the outside, and sometimes he liked to pretend he was. The fact that he passed didn’t mean he was though, and there was no way he could resist to how Percy’s voice was cracking, almost breaking into sobs as he pleaded him.

“Whatever, okay! But stop being so fucking on edge, got it?”

Percy raised his eyes, gaze lightened by a spark of hope “We’re okay? Really?”

Jason replied with an eyeroll and draped an arm around the shorter boy’s shoulders. The grin he got from Percy was more than enough to fill the hungry void that kept growling at the bottom of his stomach.

For tonight, maybe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya!  
> I'm really sorry for the poor quality and length of this chapter, I know it sucks and I hate it more than y'all do but I literally fought with it for months so this is as good as it's gonna get.  
> I'll start working on the next one soon but I'm not setting any deadline because apparently I don't work well with them (who woulda thought!).  
> Thank you for reading this and thank you if you'll keep on reading the rest of this story!  
> I live for the applause (cit.) so please leave comments and kudos or I'll literally die! (Just kidding)  
> If you want to make me the happiest shitty writer on the planet come scream at me on [tumblr](https://sadchtulhu.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/alicesss_)!  
> Thank you for reading and see you next time! <3


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